Sandra's Climb

Going public with my climb out of obesity was not an easy decision to make. I chose this particular image because it exemplifies everything I dislike about myself. I am a writer and spent the past months looking for a photo that would not make me look fat. People in my situation worry a lot about not looking fat. Unfortunately, after many different pictures it was impressed on me that NOT looking fat would be impossible. As far as pictures go, this is actually a good one of me. I usually blink at the camera lights and never smile. My son took one look at the picture and said it was nice to see me smile in the picture. This image is important to my journey because I really do not like it and so I am going to look at it every day to remind me of where I have been and how much I want to change!

My descent into obesity happened to me in mid life. I never gained an ounce during my three pregnancies. My weight bounced up and down in a twenty pound range until I was thirty-three years old. Then life crisis' one after another brought down my house of cards. The the stress and grief of those years are behind me but they left me with a weight problem I have not been able to master. My weight gain became a serious problem ten years ago after my hysterectomy when my weight soared. A change in jobs where I had less exercise finished me off.

The good news is that last year I lost fifteen pounds and kept it off for a whole year! Last month when I realized that I had maintained the fifteen pound weight loss I was truly excited and felt that there might be hope for me. I do not expect to drop these pounds all at once but if I can make slow progress I will be going in the right direction.

My diagnosis with diabetes brought about more stress. I worked in healthcare and have a hands on knowledge of the health issues brought about by diabetes. Really these health issues come from obesity, but the diabetes is dangerous. If even one person is helped by my story then it will be worth the embarrassment of putting my climb out of obesity into the public eye.

For those of you who do not have eating disorders, diabetes, or obesity in your life, you truly cannot imagine the difficulty of implementing discipline in your eating habits. Diabetes never goes away. You never get a break from managing your blood glucose levels. Everything you eat and drink makes an impact on your body chemistry every moment of every day. This can be overpowering and frightening. I recently discovered that I am also intolerant to gluten in wheat and other grains. While this has been another blow it is actually working to help me change my life. Dealing with multiple issues has been painful but has brought me to the place where I am ready to break with old eating habits and lifestyle choices.

2010 is going to be a year of change in my life. They say you can't teach an old dog new tricks...well...I am going to challenge that adage! I have wasted far too much time wallowing in the mistakes of the past. On to the future and a new me...or an old me that is coming back!  I can't wait to see that woman in the mirror I used to know!